“The certainty of misery is preferable to the misery of uncertainty.” – Virginia Satir
Our relationship with uncertainty has become fucked up. Centuries ago, uncertainty was seen as a natural part of life—ever-present and unavoidable. Today, we’ve tried to artificially remove it, creating an illusion of predictability. Society’s systems are designed to reduce uncertainty. Those systems are a reflection of our collective belief that uncertainty is something bad. Even the word risk evokes aversion if you ask society at large. As a result, we’ve become fragile. So much effort now goes into preserving the status quo and avoiding change. That fragility hasn’t just slowed our progress in creating new things—it’s also built a system that directly opposes the optimal distribution of money, energy, and time. A system that runs against the nature of the world (and markets).
Of course, this shift didn’t happen just for the sake of it. It grew from an individual preference for certainty. And that’s understandable. When playing the status game, having a predictable path to reach your goal makes success easier. There’s a blueprint to follow. And that gives our thinking mind—and ego—some peace. But once you stop playing the status game, once you shed the mimetic desires conditioned by society and start building a life that’s uniquely yours, uncertainty shows up. And with it, the illusion of a perfectly certain environment is shattered.
When you begin to follow something greater than yourself—your life’s calling, if you will—you trade your trust in certainty for a deeper trust: trust that you’ll figure things out, that something beyond your rational mind will guide you where you're meant to go. On this path, uncertainty isn’t optional. It’s guaranteed. The only certainty is that there will be uncertainty.
If we look closer at what uncertainty actually means, and how we relate to it, we’ll see it’s packed with negative associations. It’s often framed as something inherently bad. But the truth is, uncertainty isn’t good or bad. It’s just descriptive. It points to a dynamic condition shaping the reality you observe. It simply means the outcome of something can’t be reliably predicted. That’s it. It doesn’t say anything about whether the outcome is good or bad.
There’s also a curious mismatch between how we relate to uncertainty in groups versus as individuals. In society, we’re expected to have all the answers. Not knowing how something might play out is seen as weakness. We look up to those who act like they’ve got it all figured out. But that perception is based entirely on the future—something that never actually exists in the present moment. And the present moment is all we ever have. Meanwhile, in private, most people know they don’t have the certainty they project publicly. It’s a façade. One that falls apart the moment you have an honest conversation with yourself. Feeling lost or unsure isn’t rare—it’s probably the norm. This mismatch between perceived and actual certainty creates a kind of cognitive dissonance. It distorts our reality and makes it harder to navigate.
If you want to follow your highest calling and bring your unique gift into the world, you’ll need to change your relationship with uncertainty. That starts with letting go of the emotional baggage we’ve learned to attach to it. Instead, treat it for what it is: the natural state of being human. Uncertainty doesn’t have to feel uncomfortable. Many wisdom traditions suggest detachment as the antidote. Life is unfolding right here, right now. And most of the prediction-based scenarios running through your head will never happen. They only pull you away from what’s actually in front of you.
Making this shift requires courage. And self-trust. And no—it doesn’t happen overnight. But it’s worth it. Because uncertainty isn’t going anywhere. We’re surrounded by it, like fish in water. We might as well learn to swim with it. To deal with it in useful ways. To stop letting it stand between us and a life that’s actually ours.
You can make that choice: to live with the wild, undomesticated discomfort of uncertainty—rather than settling for the dead certainty of misery.